Robo Robb

So I was browsing on Facebook, and a former classmate of mine posted something so hilarious I just had to share it with you. You can also check the program she has a hand in producing on WDET 101.9FM Detroit. It airs every weekday at noon and she also does the weekend events calendar (and always  includes great Hip-Hop events around the city of Detroit). Enjoy!

From: Adam Tanielian [mailto:adam.tanielian@iis.ru.ac.th]
Sent: Tuesday, September 01, 2009 4:37 AM
To: ………….
Subject: A draft statement denying conspiracy at the WTC on 9-11-01 in NYC:

Upon further review of my materials, statics, dynamics, structural engineering and thermodynamics theories, I can not sustain claims that the damage caused to the WTC in NYC on 9-11-2001 can be legally and scientifically explained as anything different from the reports accepted by the American government. Since this was the first skyscraper attack using a plane in recent years, experts were unprepared to assist entirely due to the fact that our data and previous theory on the structural analysis and potential outcomes of such an attack were incomplete. You see, we had spent all of our reserach funding on preparation for attacks by beasts such as King Kong, the Rampage video game monsters and this Cloverfield monster, which did, in fact, apply more force to buildings than the jets which hit the WTCs, and yet the buildings which were impacted by punches, foragging manuvers for food within the inner levels of buildings, thus severing steel beams with razor-like claws of the beasts…these buildings which suffered the horrific attacks by these monsters, like those in Tokyo during the Mothra and Godzilla terrorist invasions, did not collapse in such a fashion as the WTC. Unfortunately for skeptics, conspiracy theorists and science, again we are unable to agree given the nature of information available on the 2001 damage that there were any other forces applied to the buildings than the fires and plane impacts, and since prior theory was based upon these monster attacks, which we were so desperately paranoid of again, we can neither confirm nor deny the presence of any other explosives or operatives in the collapses of the buildings in New York. Had there been a giant ape, lizard, insect or space alien involved, we would have been able to give more conclusive testimony, however, insufficient research has been made up to this point on the topic of human attacks…it’s something we American academics and scientists avoid for obvious reasons. If there should be another monster attack in a world city, the United Nations and world citizens should please be advised that the United States of America and its educational and scientific institutions are the world’s foremost leader in any and all catastrophic claims analyses involving giant apes, insects or space aliens. Thank you and good day.

–
Adam Richard Tanielian
Ramkhamhaeng University
Master of Business Administration
Management Student
Chiang Mai, Thailand
+66 087-365-8599

*if you want me to stop writing you, email me back and tell me. I’d like a reason, and I’ll probably think you’re sort of stupid, irrational, afraid, and a tad irresponsible (sorry), but I’ll do my best not to bother you anymore too. The obviously intelligent thing
to do would be to at least be kind enough to make a dirty joke and
pretend like you’re offended by the hijacked Thai Windows which
obviously caused this other offense since the medium is the message
and since it’s impossible to prove in civilized, developed courts that
this message has anything to do with the senders’ name since it’s
known that basically all messages from these developing East Asian
countries are written on pirated Windows, thus ensuring absolutely no
network security.”